Life update from a blocked and lost artist

I’m currently in a transitional phase in my life (yet another one…🙃), and while I wait to hear back from one of the many jobs I’ve applied for, I’ve decided it’s time to start making the most of my time. 💪

Even though I’ve been telling myself all of this for months. But I just couldn’t take action or start doing anything productive—until I met up with one of my best friends.

Spending time with good friends really does wonders, doesn’t it?! 💛

She’s someone who has always inspired me a lot, and five cheeses and a couple of hours catching up later, I went home with a plan and a strong sense of motivation.

In these past months, when I’ve been feeling demotivated and lost, one thought kept running through my head: back when I was a student, I never had trouble getting organized or being one of the “best” in class. And yet now, as an adult, I can’t seem to get my shit together.

It sometimes feels like I’m gaslighting myself, with an internal narrative that says that the productive, organized, and smart version of me from the past doesn’t really match reality.

Anyway, I concluded that back then, I had a set schedule, clear goals, and rewards (in the form of grades). However, adult life, especially while being unemployed, lacks that structure: I don’t have deadlines, tasks, and for sure, I don't have anyone else providing rewards.

Now I have to organize my life myself, and when you have the whole day free and spend it applying to jobs that never call you back… It's just overwhelming.

So I realized I need a structure.

And the day after that dinner with my friend, riding the motivation high, I got to work.

I spent the entire morning at my computer and organized my interests into “subjects.” Basically, I listed all the things I’d like to learn or improve upon that could add value to my life in the future, with the goal of becoming a tattoo artist.

My subjects ended up looking like this:

• Tattooing: technique and history

• Drawing: fundamentals

• Social Media: content creation and advertising

• Fitness: strength and flexibility

• Writing: reflections and consolidating knowledge

• French: grammar review and conversation

• (Bonus) ART: Active and intentional consumption of different forms of art. Not just listening to an album, watching a series, or reading a book, but intentionally choosing what I listen to and watch, researching the creators, the creative process, and reflecting on their work in my writing time or conversations with friends. 

For an extra motivational boost and in order to have a concrete goal, I designed “end-of-course” projects for each subject. For example, in drawing, I’ll produce three physical flash sheets drawn by hand. Even though my tattoo style isn’t traditional, I love flash sheets and I’m excited to make them my way—while also being terrified about this idea.

With all this, considering these interest blocks and final projects, I designed (with help from ChatGPT, of course) a “class” schedule.

On the first day, I started with the introduction to the Drawabox online drawing course and did a little research on the history of tattooing, ending the day reading about mummies with tattoos—some up to 5,000 years old! 

When I get motivated, I get a little obsessive, and now I want to know everything about every tattooed mummy, do yoga every morning, roller skate every afternoon, and be able to hand-draw at least half of the things in my head. But I’m trying to take it slow, I promise. 🙏

All in all, now that I have this structure that excites and motivates me, for the first time in a long time, I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow! ✨